By Manuel M. Melgoza

October 29, 2025

As kids growing up in a farm labor camp, we were seldom at a loss for things to do. One favorite hangout was a packinghouse yard, where equipment and storage materials were stored.

One section housed thousands of wooden boxes stacked neatly in configurations resembling large houses. Normally, the boxes were intended for transferring table grapes arriving from the fields where they were harvested to the packinghouse where the grapes were repackaged and shipped. The stacks were their temporary resting place, but we used them as our playground. Occasionally, some of us would assemble sections of roller conveyors to convert them to amusement ride-like roller coaster tracks. We climbed to the apex of the stack, at the conveyor’s highest point, crouch into an open wooden fruit box, and slide down the conveyor. This was our thrill for the moment.

One afternoon, Johnny, a friend my age, accompanied two of my brothers (Gus and Cesar) to the yard. Cesar was my youngest brother, then about 4 years old. After a while riding the conveyor down the stacked boxes, I thought of what I believed was a good idea.

I told Cesar to stand at the elevated perimeter of the stacked boxes. I descended to the ground level below where he stood. I told him to jump, and promised to catch him before he hit the ground. Cesar looked terrified and refused to jump. I continued to exhort him to leap, re-assuring him that I would catch him. He stood frozen near the edge, refusing to budge.

Johnny turned to me and asked, “Do you want me to push him?” I replied, “Yeah.”

Before Cesar could protest, Johnny pushed Cesar over the edge toward my outstretched arms. For reasons that still remain a mystery to me, I suddenly retracted my arms, not on purpose or out of malice, but as if by reflex. I wouldn’t do that to Cesar intentionally; I was very fond of my youngest brother. 

Cesar fell helplessly to the ground, landing on his butt.  He let out a horrible cry of pain, then continued to cry and writhe uncontrollably, barely able to catch his breath. He was on the ground jerking and holding his buttocks, his face revealing excruciating pain. I tried desperately to console him, to no avail.  Nothing I said or did proved helpful. The moment seemed endless. I was certain that I had caused him irreparable damage.

After what seemed an eternity, his pain subsided. I, too, was relieved. But, my little brother still walked home in agony. I never really forgave myself for what I had done and it continues to haunt me to this day. The physical damage was bad enough for Cesar.

The psychological damage must have been worse. I was Cesar’s care-taker in a sense.  From his infancy, I often volunteered to change his diapers. I took on the role of his protector, teacher, occasionally helped to feed him, keep him company, and teamed up with him to play games.

I had earned his trust up to that time, only to prove in that one instant that I was untrustworthy. Although I apologized to him then, and again as I grew older as we discussed the incident, I sometimes wonder if I didn’t do something to make him distrustful of others.  If you can’t trust your closest brother, whom can you trust (I thought)? Did I interfere with his ability to place his entire trust in God? Perhaps. After all, while my intentions were not to do harm, my actions were a betrayal from Cesar’s perspective.

Trust is so fragile – hard-won and easily-broken! As much as we humans want to believe that we can be perfectly trustworthy, we will sometimes fail. Unlike humans, however, God is completely trustworthy.

“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10) For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake His faithful ones. (Psalm 37:28) The Lord’s unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in Him. (Psalm 32:10) Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. (Psalm 40:4) It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. (Psalm 118:8) Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. (Psalm 146:3) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;” (Proverbs 3:5)

Peter denied Jesus three times, yet Jesus trusted Peter, knowing he would do that. (Mark 14:27-31; 66-72). Jesus trusted Judas, knowing Judas would betray Him. (Matthew 26-27; Mark 14:10-42; John 6:64). Why does Jesus do that for us? Because He loves us.

I will punish their sin with the rod, their iniquity with flogging; but I will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness. I will not violate my covenant or alter what my lips have uttered. Psalm 89:32-34

Doesn’t He deserve our trust?